A few years ago I started noticing a super fun trend of "Dirty 30" photo shoots, and thought to myself, I most DEFINITELY will be doing that. So I began planning.
Yea, it was a few years away, but spending my 20's graduating college, getting my masters, having and raising 3 babies, moving to 4 different states and 8 different homes, and all that beautiful jazz in between, you kind of lose yourself along the way, in the most tragically beautiful way possible.
I knew I was a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, a mentor, to so many people, but somehow and somewhere along the way, I forgot how to mesh those relationships together into the same beautiful person I see today. And it took most of my 20's to realize that tragedy. Possibly up until it came time to actually plan for my 30th shoot this year.
I was finally 29 and not getting any younger, and the realization that my 20's leaving me behind scared the absolute sh*t out of me! Who was I, as my own person? How do I plan a personality shoot when I feel as though I've lost pieces of myself along the way, being something and somebody for everyone else?
And then we found out we were expecting. Meaning, I would be nice and pregnant during my "Dirty 30" shoot I've been planning for quite some time. There goes the party. So I decided not to do the shoot, as typically popping bottles and celebrating 3 decades is part of the deal.
Weeks went by, 30 got closer. I don't know why it took me so long to realize it, maybe it was the new baby preparing, maybe it was trying to find the right home school schedule, the planned date nights that didn't go as planned but ended in laughter anyway, or the 14 weeks of straight morning sickness... but somewhere, down that road, I decided I just didn't give a flying F*CK. I was doing that shoot. I was celebrating 3 decades, pregnant or not. I decided to NOT get caught up in losing my "youth" and started thinking about all of the amazing, crazy, kid and puppy filled moments in my life that make me want to pull my hair out daily. Watching my incredible husband come home from work at night, and pick up dishes, laundry, Toy Story Dolls, puzzles, and dad-it-up like nobody's business, when he could come home looking exhausted.
GOD was I lucky. To come from a crazy, loving, loud mouth family who made me who I am today, to find my best friend so young and marry him, to wake up dizzy, nauseous, and downright grumpy, because I am so lucky to be a mom of soon-to-be 4, and to argue daily with little mini me's of Jason and myself because I am so gosh darn lucky to have the opportunity to shape the people they are to become.
Cheers to the DEATH of my 20's.
They made me who I am today, all the patch work and beautiful stitching of my personality...but I'm really not mourning all that much. Because I'm a week into my 30's, and life has never been better.
**Louisiana , Alabama , Florida Travel Photographer**
A T h i n g o f B e a u t y P h o to g r a p h y
C o v i n g to n , L o u i s i a n a
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